Little Update

My goodness...it's been a long, long time since I've posted on here.  I don't know how it happened.  More than a year has gone by, without me even looking at blogger.  And lots has happened since then!  Most importantly, my boyfriend and I got engaged around this time last year.  We decided that we wanted to hold our wedding in Canada, so we've been working on the plans for our day since then.   I'm really excited for the wedding (though I often have nightmares that something on the day is going wrong).  Mostly, I'm super excited that all of my now fiance's family are coming to Canada!  I think it's amazing that they are willing to make the trip with us.  This is no small sacrifice, as a lot of our friends and family have children, and obviously flying with a whole family isn't cheap.  But most of the important people in our lives are willing to make the trip with us.

What I've always envisioned about my wedding day, is that it would be so special to have all the important people in my life in one room.  I'm so looking forward to having both the special people from Canada and the special people here in the same place.  This is even more special, because normally these two halves of my life are separated.  

I'm curious about how my "schoonfamilie" (in-laws) will react to our traditions in Canada and our way of life.  My father-in-law to be (though in Holland they would already call him my "schoonvader") doesn't speak any English, so it will also be interesting to see how he reacts to everything.  

Thank God for the internet!  Without it I think our planning from a distance would be impossible.  I'm going to try to be a little more active on here, because I actually do enjoy posting!

Friends

One of my best friends from Canada was here this weekend with her boyfriend and new baby.  These were our first house guests in our new house, and I had been looking forward to their visit since Christmas when they said they were planning a trip this way.  Their upcoming visit was also a great reason to get our attic ready for visitors.  We've got a proper little guest room up there now.  

It was absolutely wonderful to have them here and to show them some of our life here.  Definitely "gezellig".  It always feels so strange and fun to have people from my life in Canada here in this life.  We spent Saturday showing them around the town where I work and later around Zwolle.  It was such a great, sunny spring day and so fantastic to spend time with good friends in the sun.  

The last month of work has been incredibly, incredibly busy and at times I really didn't know how much longer I could handle that kind of pressure.  It actually doesn't show any sign of slowing down at work, but I noticed today that my energy was so much better.  Time with good friends can do that I suppose.  Next weekend we are off to Amsterdam with our friends again and I can't wait! 

Certainly, my friends and family have been the most difficult thing to give up while living outside of Canada.  But being away has also made me appreciate the preciousness of good friendships and how important time with "my people" is.  I've decided (as a result of how much I enjoyed myself this weekend) that it is important for me to put more time into "cultivating friendships"...often we are so busy with so many less important things that we forget to make this a priority.

Language barrier?

Yesterday was an absolutely beautiful spring day.  We were a little late getting going with our usual Saturday morning errands, but I had a great little sleep-in and it felt good to rest up a little bit after a very busy week at work.  The market in Zwolle was crowded by the time we got there.  Usually we try to get there quite early to avoid the crowds.  The sun was so beautiful that we decided to stop and enjoy it while having a coffee at one of the restaurants ("lekker op terrasje zitten" as the Dutch would say).  To our surprise, an English speaking couple sat down across from us: a Canadian woman and an Irish man.  We spent about an hour and a half chit chatting.  


Sometimes I forget just how fantastic it can feel to speak your own language to someone!  I am lucky that I am able to speak English and Dutch to my colleagues at work (at least a couple of them).  This means that they understand what I mean even when I am speaking my mish-mash of English with a few Dutch words in between.  What I really noticed yesterday was how much easier it feels when chit chatting with total strangers to at least be able to speak your own language.  It was a real treat.  


Friends of mine from Canada will be in town to visit next weekend.  It will be the first time we've had overnight guests in our new house.  We've been busy getting things ready for them...knowing that people are coming is definitely a good incentive to get things organized here!  I'm really looking forward to having people from home over here and staying in our home!  And to speaking English all weekend long with a girlfriend of mine who probably knows what I want to say before I even open my mouth.  

Tax time

It's that time of year again....crocuses are coming up, the days are getting longer, it's almost Spring!  This also means it's time to file your taxes!  While the deadline in Canada is April 30th for filing your tax return, here it is April 1st.  I was just thinking back to my first year here, and how much scarier a process this was for me than it always was filing taxes "back home".  First of all, I had no idea that in order to file my taxes, I would need to have a "digid".  Someone did actually mention to me that I would need to apply for one, so I made sure to arrange this right away.  I got all of the papers in the mail, and put them in a safe place with my salarisstroken (pay stubs) and jaaropgave (T4 back home) and figured I would take all of that to the appointment with a local accountant which I had arranged.  Later, I realized that I needed to activate the digid by a certain date or the activation code would expire...I of course did this too late, so had to apply for a new one again!  Aaah!  

I remember walking to my appointment with the accountant, because at that point in time I didn't even own a bike.  The office was probably 4 kms from where I lived.  This is of course not far at all, but I remember being unsure of where it was and afraid I would show up late etc.  Looking back, I see how small my world was at that point in time.  I walked everywhere, and the essential parts of my life existed in probably a 1km radius. 

The tax return did end up being completed in time, and the accountant managed to get some money back from the money I had spent on health insurance in my first year.  Since I had only been there half the year, I hadn't earned much and qualified for some sort of tax break!  However, going to the accountant led to a pretty steep bill (which came I think 3 months later or so!).  I didn't trust myself to do it alone, online, in Dutch at the time.  So, I didn't have a problem spending the money to ensure the job was done properly, but looking back I suppose I could have found a Dutch person to help me out with it.  

This year my bf will be doing it for me (yay!).  I feel like I have to excuse my laziness and dependence here by saying that I always did my own taxes in Canada (literally from the time I was 16 years old).  I actually feel like this is the first year where I might have tried doing my taxes here on my own, but apparently since we live together now it makes sense to file them together.  This sounds a little complicated, so I will let him handle it.  I've got all the papers together...and have a brand new digid code...it seems every year I have to arrange this all over again since I lose the code from the year before.  And every year I curse the Dutch government for having coming up with this crazy thing. 

I spent this Saturday at a typical Dutch birthday party (or fairly typical anyway...no sitting in a circle at this one).  At such an event, family and friends of the "jarige" (person celebrating) are invited to come and eat cake, drink coffee and chit chat for a few hours.  The polite thing to do when you arrive is to congratulate the person whose birthday it is...but also everyone else who's there.  I found this pretty strange the first time.  My boyfriend started going around the room, shaking everyone's hand and saying "gefeliciteerd", of course without warning me that this was the custom.  

At this birthday party, I had a bit of a chat with one of my boyfriend's uncles.  I've met him before, but he seemed to forget where I was from etc...so I had to give the usual explanation about what I was doing here and where I came from/why etc.  When I told him I was Canadian, he began to tell me how he remembers being freed by the Canadians at the end of WWII.  Hearing these sorts of stories never fails to bring me to tears.  (I cry easily...but still.)  Being here, and meeting people who lived through that time, makes you realize that that time wasn't so long ago.  It also makes me realize how lucky I am to have been born at the time and place I was.  I have met people here who were literally in concentration camps or prison camps during the war, and it is amazing to see how resilient they are.  They have gone on to make wonderful lives for themselves, despite all they have seen and been through.   

Boswandeling

We took a great little walk in the forest today.  I think this is going to become part of our normal weekend routine.  I'm so looking forward to the days getting longer so that we can enjoy the nearby forest after work too.  I never thought of the Netherlands as being a forest-rich country, but really there are tonnes of great spots for walking or biking.  I also think one of the great things about this country is the amount of bike paths.  Running and biking is so much safer with these paths.  Last summer we spent a couple of weeks in the south of France for vacation, and I nearly risked my life trying to run along the road there.  Though it's only mid-February, you can really notice that the days are getting longer and warmer. Here are some photos from our walk today.

This last photo is of what the Dutch call "heide".  I am pretty sure that it would be called heather in English.  When it's in bloom it's beautiful!  (see below)

Big City Love

I went into Amsterdam today to run a few errands, taking the train from where I live in the East.  (Actually, due to work on the train tracks, I actually had to drive to Amersfoort first...but that's beside the point.)  I was slightly shocked at how happy it made me to be in a big city for a little while.  I always treat myself to a starbucks drink when arriving, and as I exited Amsterdam Centraal latte with my latte, I thought to myself "heerlijk".  Seriously...I actually thought it in Dutch.  These things have been happening more and more often lately.  Last week while driving, I started yelling at another driver in Dutch.  I suppose it's a sign I've integrated. 

My boyfriend has exactly the opposite reaction to the busy feel of a city like Amsterdam.  He would much rather live in a smaller, quieter place.  That's actually a big reason why we've chosen to live really close to the national forest here (The Veluwe).  I on the other hand, loooooove the convenience of being in a large centre.  There are a million fun things about Amsterdam, but I think what I really enjoy most is that there I can find basically everything I could ever want or need.  The last few years that I lived in Canada, I lived in Toronto and I loved that too.  Toronto has lots of great little neighbourhoods and tonnes of amazing shops and after a few years, I knew exactly where to go for whatever I needed.  I had a favourite card store, clothing store, coffeeshop etc.  Unfortunately, where we live is so small that none of those things exist here.  So today, with my Starbucks in hand...I almost felt like I was at home!   The only thing missing was my Canadian girlfriends.  

Sometimes I have so much respect for Dutch women!  They have this attitude that is just like, "get on with it, no complaining".  As is our usual habit here, I went this morning to the outdoor market and then to the supermarket.  In our new house, we have a little bigger of a fridge and more storage space, so we try to just shop once a week (North American style!).

Today, I noticed something which I remember really shocked me when I first arrived here.  At the grocery stores in Canada, generally the ladies at the check out will pack your groceries into bags for you.  Here, you are generally expected to bring your own bags (which I know is also becoming quite normal in Canada now), but I remember at the beginning being here feeling so rushed to make my payment and then pack my bags.   This was made all the more scary because I didn't really speak the language yet and really had to pay attention to what was going on.   Today, I was doing the shopping all alone....when we go together, we've got the tasks totally assigned...my boyfriend packs everything up and I do the paying (I think this is great!).  It amazed me how quickly I watched the lady after me pack all her stuff in her cart (also all alone).  She was practically done before me.  Someday, maybe I'll get the hang of this too....right?  But this is what I mean about there being something in the culture here that says...just do your thing, get on with it...  Births without epidurals, at home...grocery shopping on the bike, with two kids on it....and no help packing your bags....do it yourself and do it fast!

Thuis

Looks like I'm laying down roots here in Holland.  My boyfriend ("vriend") and I have bought a house together.  Heeeeel spannend!!!

Buying a house is something I'd always expected to do at some point in my life, but buying a house in Holland is obviously not something you expect for yourself as a girl growing up in Canada.  Since meeting my boyfriend about a year and a half ago, it became pretty clear to me that I would likely be settling down here.  The initial plan when I moved here was to work at this job for a few years and then head back to Canada.  Then I found myself really loving Holland, and decided that maybe I should open myself up to the possibility of meeting someone here and really making a life here.  And that's basically what happened.

I am so excited to be taking this step.  It is strange though to be buying your first home not in your own country.  First of all, because suddenly you have a lot of financial things to arranged in Dutch (always fun!).  But more importantly, taking this step makes it pretty clear that I am making a commitment to be living my life here for at least the next 5 years or so.  That makes it a little bittersweet....so exciting to be buying a home, but also sad that the home is so far away from a lot of the people I love.  At the end of the day, I'm just thankful that I have a job that allows me to see a bit of the world, live in a beautiful country and buy a house. 

Herfst

We're deep into the Autumn here in Holland..."wintertijd" (what we call Daylight Savings Time back home) is here.  True "herfstweer" (fall weather) has arrived and darkness comes early.  Having grown up in Canada, I am used to some pretty harsh winters.  Fall/winter here is different.  I'm used to bright, crisp, cold days.  It can be truly freeeeeeezing sometimes where I grew up, but if there is at least sunlight, I find that ok.  Here, a crisp sunny day is definitely a rarity.  Winter consists more of rainy, windy weather.  The Dutch have a word for the bone-chilling cold that comes from the humid, wet weather..."waterkoud".  I find it to be pretty fitting.


What comes along with this time of the year, is the Sinterklaas craziness.  This catches me off guard every year...suddenly there are kids running around town in their little pietepakken with their black faces, crushed pepernoten all over the streets etc, etc.  Because I haven't grown up around this holiday, I find myself every year being a little taken aback by all the celebrating.  Yesterday there was a parade of marching bands, floats etc. just outside my house and it seemed like the whole town was out to celebrate the arrival of Sinterklaas.  

I need to vent...

One of the things I find the most frustrating living here is dealing with banks and the Gemeentehuis.  Sometimes it can be so frustrating.  I have to psych myself up to go speaking my best Dutch...and then hope that it'll go ok.  Thank goodness I don't have to make these trips so often anymore, but in the beginning there are certain things that need to be arranged: "inschrijving" (registering) with the Gemeente, getting a bank account, etc. etc.  Doing all of that when you don't speak the best Dutch is challenging.


Today I had to go to the bank to pick up some cash money to pay for the car I am buying.  Wat een gedoe!!!  I thought that since I had the cash sitting in my bank account, this would be no issue.  But no, apparently at the bank I use, for larger amounts, you are expected to "order the money" 2 days ahead of time.  This is the problem....you don't know these rules until you come across such a situation...and then you learn.  This isn't the first such surprise which I've had.  In retrospect I always feel stupid for not looking up whether whatever I need is possible.  I often make the mistake of assuming that things will be the same as I was used to in Canada, and that's generally not the case.  Banking in particular can be annoying.  Things that in Canada could be arranged on the spot often take way more time.  I've had to get a new pinpass a number of times because it stopped working, and they then send you your new pinpass in 4 working days (I believe).  Why is this necessary?  In Canada, I would get a temporary pass on the spot and then a replacement a few days later in the mail. 


I also hate being spoken to like I am dumb.  I may be foreign and have a different accent, and perhaps not know how everything works around here...but I am not stupid!  I felt like screaming this at the bank teller today, who insisted on telling me over and over what was not possible, instead of trying to help me figure out how I was going to fix my problem.  Ahh...customer service in the Netherlands! 

Vervoer/Transportation

I accomplished something pretty exciting this weekend...I bought a car!  I've been car-less for the past 2 years and I will admit that I have very rarely missed having a car.  I live about 500 metres away from the NS station in my town and though most Dutch people think it sucks, I've found public transportation in Holland to be generally reliable. The way the town is set up where I live, it's actually easier and quicker to do errands such as grocery shopping with the bike.  Everything is so close by that it actually took me about a year before I even bought myself a bike.  At first I just walked everywhere, and it was actually very do-able.


There were some other barriers that kept me from running out and buying a car.  I find driving in the Netherlands to be scarier than driving in Canada.  This is of course ridiculous, because I am used to driving through blizzards, on super busy 4 lane highways, through downtown Toronto etc, etc....but somehow the narrow streets here with cyclists flying by are scarier for me.  I also wasn't used to driving a car with a manual transmission.  I didn't learn to do that until I met my boyfriend, who such a car.  I found it super scary to learn, which I know is also silly, but  am proud of myself for pushing myself to do it. 


However, when it came time to buy my very own car, I decided it should be an automatic.  Why?  Because I am lazy, and I don't want to be stressing out about shifting gears on the way to work in the morning!  In researching cars, I became aware of the existence of "wegenbelasting" (road tax).  The more fuel efficient a car is, the lower the road tax.  I initially thought the Toyota Aygo would be a good option....they make a car with a quasi-automatic transmission which is "wegenbelasting vrij" (no road tax), but I eventually decided against it.  Instead I will be buying something which has a pretty low monthly road tax payment, but feels a little more solid.  And of course, is AUTOMATIC!  


I'm excited to start driving on Dutch roads in my very own car!

Why I will stay in Holland...

It is pretty amazing to me how quickly a place that was once "foreign" can become Home.  After a little more than two years living in the Netherlands, I am convinced that this will be the place where I spend the majority of the rest of my life working and raising the kids that I hope someday come!  That was never my initial plan, but after being here a year or so and getting my bearings in terms of learning the language and getting settled in my job, I realized that this is a fantastic country, and I could really see myself here "for good".  I think a huge factor which made this process easier was that I learned the language right away.  The first 4 weeks I was here, I took intensive language lessons with a private teacher.  Expensive, but necessary for my work as I work in the eastern part of the country and though I am always impressed with the ability of Dutch people to speak English, not everyone around here can.  That was actually a blessing in disguise.  When people automatically switch to English when speaking to you, it doesn't force you to try and learn.  And simply through listening, I think I picked things up.  I maybe didn't understand all of the words at first, but I could grasp the meaning of what someone was trying to say.  Gradually that improved.  Now I would say I am fairly fluent.  I don't understand every single thing, sometimes have to ask my boyfriend for clarification on some things or ask people to repeat themselves, but I can carry on a normal conversation.  I have to say that making the effort to learn wasn't always easy.  I had days in the beginning where I came home from work so exhausted from speaking another language all day that I couldn't even bring myself to make dinner.  But the effort was well worth it. 


So, after a year or so here, I figured if I had gotten over the hurdle of learning the language, then why not consider staying longer.  I opened up to the idea that if I could find someone with whom I would like to spend my life, then maybe I could stay here for good.  I loooooooove Canada....love going back to visit....miss my friends and family....but there are certain things that I would just never have living in Canada that I can have here.  For example: 4 weeks of vacation as soon as I started working!  When I began my current job, I was informed that I would have 4 weeks of paid vacation per year.  I was pumped!  I mean, who has that right off the bat at a new job in Canada?  I have to say that now that I have been here a little longer, I have found out that 4 weeks is actually the legal minimum of vacation time in the Netherlands.  I was a little disappointed when I realized that people in lower positions in my company have more vacation time.  However, they have been pretty flexible about me taking more time if I need it, so I can't complain!  


The second thing I've noticed that is really attractive to me, is that many people do not work 5 days a week here.  In Canada, it seems to be the norm that both partners work 5 days per week.  Here, it is quite common for mothers to work 3 days per week and sometimes for fathers to work part time as well.  What a genius idea!  I think the Dutch have simply accepted that it is not possible (or not for everyone anyway) to balance a family life and full-time work and actually enjoy yourself.  I love that this is completely socially acceptable here.  


Those are really just a couple of the things that make living here attractive.  In general, I have to say that I find Dutch social policy to be quite logical and fair and that things are quite well-organized.  It hasn't always felt that way.  I know that I occasionally faced some kind of "discrimination" when visiting the Gemeente Huis (city hall) and trying to arrange certain things.  I sometimes felt like people looked at me like I was stupid because I couldn't speak proper Dutch...that is still a feeling that I occasionally have.  In general though, I think the Netherlands is a country that makes things rather easy for ex-pats and I'm thankful to have had the opportunity to come and work here. 

We are all aware of the predictable Dutch stereotypes.  It is fun arriving here as a naive foreigner and seeing that they really do exist: bikes as a primary means of transport, really tall people and people making disgusting, throaty noises as they speak.  If you actually venture out of Amsterdam, you may even be lucky enough to see a man riding a bike while wearing those typical yellow clogs.  This happens to me every so often in the town where I live. 

There are some other things that the average tourist probably never gets to see, which struck me right away when arriving here: 

-Dutch people take their front windows seriously.  They are considered places where you should display pretty things and it is also perfectly normal to have the curtains open here so you can check out what's walking by and people can look in your window too.  This feels very strange as a North American, because I would normally never look into someone's window!  But generally the distance from sidewalk to window here is less and when they're all dressed up inviting you to look, it's hard not to!  In more modern houses, the trend seems to be to have pairs of things in a window (i.e. two matching candlesticks, two plants in matching pots etc.)  It is so pervasive that after only living here for two years, I am considering what pairs of things I should buy for my new house when we move.  

-Windows are so important that people here wash them quite regularly.  I must admit that not everyone does this, but there are actually people who will do this on a weekly basis.  I am also not only referring to the inside windows, but also the outside windows.  Ridiculous!  

-Dutch people are also known for their directness.  I actually think this is awesome.  They will ask you questions which sometimes seem very personal.  It is considered quite normal to indicate on your resume if you are married, how old you are, how many children you have etc.  I found this kinda weird, but it makes sense, because if you don't give the information, your employer will likely ask.  In my job, I am regularly asked by clients if I like it here, if I don't miss my family too much etc, etc...  I've come to actually really appreciate the Dutch directness because you always know where you stand with people. 

Foreign

Fun things happen when you find yourself in a new country.  I came here after many years of post-grad study, and found myself all at once starting my first serious job, living for the first time all on my own but more importantly having to learn a new language and somehow build a life.  For the first time in my life, friends would not be made at school.  Lots of people likely go through this transition, for example after moving to a new city after graduation....but what made it slightly different for me is that most of the people in my "potential friend pool" did not speak my language.  More importantly, they had lives already and I figured probably weren't interested in making friends with some Canadian girl.  The locals in the town where I live asked me questions like, "Don't you miss your family?"  and "How the heck did you end up here?".  Dutch people, in my experience can be really friendly, but that doesn't mean they will invite you into their social group.  I am sure that this is similar in other countries and is also the reason for the existence of so many ex-pat groups. 


But what was born of this, was a great experience for me.  Suddenly, anyone who spoke a bit of English was a potential friend.  I ended up getting to know quite a few people with whom I normally probably would not have been friends.  In fact now, one of my closest friends is a lady in her 40's with two kids.  Someone I would normally have little in common with....but in this town we understand each other's troubles.  We have both gone through the pain of trying to make a recipe and having it not work because the ingredients are slightly different here.  We offer to pick up things from North America when either of us is making a trip there.  We get what it's like to be a "foreigner" here.  That's something that my friends from home will never really understand.

How much is too much?

I think we all have this once in awhile...the feeling that you've bitten off more than you can chew.  I actually think this is probably quite normal.  But it seems that in the past few months I've been struggling with this more than usual.  There are a number of contributing factors I suppose.  For the first time in my life I am in what I would call a serious relationship and now actually living with someone.  Suddenly, it seems like we have twice the number of social commitments.  Birthday parties to go to (which in Holland, are not missable events), visits with family members etc.  Since we've moved to my area of the country, we have to make sure that we make a trip every once in awhile to see his family and that takes up a whole day on the weekend!  

In all fairness though, the biggest factor in the past few months has been my decision to train for a marathon.  Normally I was someone who occasionally ran when I felt like it, but now I have what feels like an obligation to myself to run.  Sometimes, even when I've been feeling sick or way too tired, or whatever.  Well, this weekend I was away for a course all weekend and then back Sunday evening.  I promised myself I would run Monday after work.  What exactly was I thinking?  A weekend of little sleep, a fully booked Monday at work and then go running for 3 hours??  Needless to say, I got home and wanted to cry at the thought of going for run.  Luckily today I have a later start at work, could sleep in and hopefully the rest of this week I will be back on track.  I'm trying to not feel too guilty about lowering my expectations for myself.  Luckily I have a boyfriend who keeps telling me it'll all be fine even though I really feel I've let myself down.